“Knowing who you are will attract loving others.” Me, myself and I have grown so close to the point of excitement. Discovering so much about myself have empowered me even more. Knowing myself is taking time to do things I enjoy doing. It’s a love once you explore you will never leave. It came a time when meeting new people brought out frustration, a huge turn off. Tired of glancing down at my phone and finding someone texted me or missed call and feeling disgusted. I realize in the past 5 years of my life that no one could ever replace me. Nor will I ever get to a place of losing myself again. The pain I took myself through was almost to death. Wanting to be love from someone else when in fact I had no idea how to love myself first. Being married for 12 years caused heartache and misery that I brought on myself. Yes, it’s easy to blame the other person, however many times looking in the mirror at myself I was responsible for myself. Two souls that wasn’t meant for each other were finally set free in divorce. Today, he and I are the best of friends.
After my father passed in 2012 I shut down. Went into my shell. There I began to figure out what to do with myself. Looking deeply all could find was a mess. It was more like a room where I stored, sadness, regret, shame, worthless, low self esteem, depression and so much more. A room gone unnoticed internally. I had no idea where to begin to begin cleaning house. It’s taking me those 5 years to rediscover the beauty of that room and other rooms. The hoarding went away. No more cobwebs. No more disguise of dryness in the air. No more unhealthy emotions personalities. Actually, it was the best room in my house, meaning my internal. There I begin to apologize to myself for the abuse I place on myself, my soul. Those dark places became the best view of brightness I never saw in myself. Sound weird but having conversations with myself and moments of laughter was pretty cool. I began to date myself. Read books I enjoyed. Taking long baths to relax my mind. Writing was so missed. Sitting outside in the summer watching the stars from a far and so much more. Amazing.
Being solo for now is healthy. It’s sensuous. A place of peace. Being content. Having things, I want to do for myself are now manifesting in something incredible. Many times, over I miss loving who loved the most, myself. I begin to put me first. I would recognize in others behavior and disfunction and would run like a track star. Loneliness vacated my space. Not to say this was ever easy because it wasn’t. My entire being was going through a detox. Life changing. I’ve grown in knowing myself and still learning. I’ve grown in identifying what’s best for me and what’s not best for me. I’m all cleaned up internally. I now attract like minded and spiritual people like myself. Iron sharpens Iron, right? I walk more in confidence. I have no room of wasting my time nor energy of others or things that doesn’t serve my purpose and passion along my journey. Self-love and self-awareness are connected together. They support one another.
Many, have a heart of treasures, and so quickly to give so much away until you realize every piece of you have vanished, departed, gone. A sense of loss, confusion, sadness, fatigue, the list goes one. When it comes to that, your is soul is screaming. Packed up and gone. As for me, I had to run after my soul. I had to show and prove to myself that I was valued and appreciated It was a place of healing and again, rediscovering myself.
Love starts internally. It’s the best part many of us bypass in many aspects of our lives. The Law of Attraction is ready to serve love myself enough to not be a prison to yourself and for the sake of others. Don’t entertain selfish personalities of others. Say “NO”! and mean it! Have no regrets. Clean up before you invite others. Don’t die before haven’t lived. Align yourself and keep moving forward. The energies of the universe to pour upon your life of servants that will love and adore you. Serve and be of a servant to others. And lastly, always remember to give thanks to your struggles and then show them the door, humbly. love yourself the way you need to be love. Soul search and you will find everything you need and desire. Don’t think about it. Just start the work. It will naturally flow. It did for me. I have no regrets.