Sitting with Nature

The Challenge

Confession was made verbally for the first time in my life….”I am angry as hell at the men of my past” Whew! For a long time, I wanted to say that. At a point in my life I need to be free from disappointments of my past. Decided along time ago to not deal with past issues. Although, I never took the time to face it eye to eye. I wrestled for weeks with unsettled feelings and thoughts.

It was time that I gave myself permission to be angry. I talked it out. Believed life is going great, and doing well…. here comes a trigger moments. And “ZAP”! Things unresolved begin to uproot forcefully. Taking a deep breathe and rising to suit up and boot up. The fight was on. I was tired of masking the pain. I decided to close the chapters of past hurts.

Abandonment, avoiding conversation, staying busy, disconnected, fear, not trusting….and many more. One by one, deeply connecting to those dark places (time to set them free). I believe this was something that was in my way. Everything been slow, like driving in the pouring rain and your windshield wipers are working fast but can’t keep the fast pace of the rain. Either you slow down, stop, or take the risk of causing accident. It was time heal myself. I knew it will take time. No rush. And spend as much time with these deepest of hurts. Sometimes grieving is necessary.

I start to realize co-dependent had a place in my internal soul. Dis-Ease were being housed by me. The attachment to keep them was by my own biggest fears of letting go. The more I spent time with those things, I begin to feel lighter and free. One step at a time, I begin to appreciate those experience in a brighter light. It was time they all were released, and they were.

In life we have to go deep, and alone with ourselves to bring closure. Theirs no date and time when the shift will change and when you have to face your sorrows. Everything began to make sense, the process came with ease. That place of calmness is something I will always remember and desire more of it. I challenged myself. I refuse to be defeated. Moving forward, I am so free of my the past pain experiences. I apologize to myself, and forgiven myself. When you have unresolved issues in your life, they will linger in your life until you deal with them. Life experience. Life learning. Another close chapter in my space.

Free2BMe

Quietness

Quietness is Love

Quietness in my confidence

Quietness is the flow in my poetry

Quietness is away from the noise

Quietness is my connections to nature

Quietness is where I plant gardens

Quietness “I am still”

Quietness is my peace and serenity

Quietness is my spirituality

Quietness is my “Free2BMe”

Feelings

Allow your purpose to drive your feelings. You will grow to know that the best fulfillment are the things you most enjoy and love. Spend sometime with your thoughts, and allow your journey to begin. You will never regret it.

New Beginings

Tell the story. You are apart of her(story)& his(story). Every step you take moving, it’s a new beginning. What does that mean? It has no meaning when you just be, and just do it.

Having a rough time right now? I have them often, however, I decide to change that uneasiness and ease, smile, and reflect that moment to a new beginning. In each moment it has meaning some place in your space. Digress? Yes I’m order to progress. Each meaning in your life means something greater for you. Trust the process. New beginnings are always happening. Can’t capture them all, more-so, the ones you can… grab them. Take a moment. Inhale and exhale… release. Another beginning awaits you.

Trying

He said, “I’m trying to learn your heart”.

She said, ” I’m trying to learn your intellect”.

He said “The way you look at me

She said “ Stop it. I’m shy (smiling)

He said “ Don’t be afraid. I will protect you. Love you. Listen to you. I will work to understand you, but I need your help. I will honor and respect you. Don’t be afraid”.

She said “I’m trying. Heard it all before. I love emotionally. I am a woman, queen, warrior, balance spiritually, never underestimate my thoughts. Still healing. Willing. Taking my time this time. Be patient with me. I’m trying”.

He said “ I am with you. Let’s work together. I will talk to you, nurture you. My actions will speak to you even when I’m not present”.

She said, We will work together. Trying for each other. We are a team”. Sigggghhhh…

They look into each other essences, speaking together “Trying”