Many break up’s to make up became normal. Not realizing that’s what I use to see and know as being normal. I made excuses for my behavior and others behavior. The tug and pull back and forth became old and tiring. I decided for change and to make it happen(clueless). I would wait looking for signs, and it never came.
Awaken one early morning, my soul was crying. I realize the breakup begin with a reminder how I left me, stranded and abandoned. I learned how to give to others and putting what I needed last. I had to develop a relationship with myself. I was a stranger to myself. I had to stop my soul from crying. I begin to apologize for all that I took myself through not with words alone, but with action. Spending quiet time, reading and writing were things that brought me joy and happiness. It was something that I yearned for. I begin to break away from toxic behaviors. Setting boundaries, and limiting how much time giving to others. Loving and giving to myself is something I look forward to. I would turn off my phone, cut off social media and spend that time with myself.
I discovered how to love me first. I discovered new versions of myself. Continually, with no strain or struggles I connect daily with myself. I realize the break up to make up begin with me. Healing and forgiving myself. It’s tough letting go of people that are not healthy for your well being, yet it was necessary.
Often time I was blindsided by false love an lies in your mind, emotions and feelings. My judgement was a bit clouded at times.
Sidebar advise: Take the time to heal. You are the source of the problem, not the other person(s). Everything begins with you and finish with you. We have the free will to make our own decisions. You have to decide when its time for change. It’s not up to the other person(s). Don’t worry how it suppose to look or happen, just speak it, and when you least expect change it’s already done. Forgive to love again.